The company will be called FIFA Forward Enterprise, because *Gianni’s Enormous Football Shop* lacked dignity.

Private investors will buy minority stakes. FIFA says they will have no control. They will simply hand over several billion dollars and then sit politely in the hall without expressing an opinion.

Joshua Kushner’s investment firm is expected to lead the group.

Donald Trump is not involved. He is merely standing nearby, glowing faintly, while members of his extended family measure the curtains.

Each national association could receive $20m if the plan is approved.

Those associations must also vote on the plan.

FIFA insists this is not buying votes. It just happens to involve giving $20m to the people doing the voting.

Infantino calls it the democratisation of football.

And what could be more democratic than 211 officials being asked whether they would like $20m?

UEFA says the World Cup is not FIFA’s to sell. This is an important moral position, bravely taken by an organisation furious that somebody else found the buyer.

FIFA says private investment will help football â€Å“unlock its potential”.

Apparently the World Cup—watched by billions and recognised in almost every country on Earth—has been underachieving.

Perhaps it could learn the violin.

Perhaps it could marry well.

Perhaps it could stop wasting its life being a football tournament and become a respectable financial asset.

FIFA insists nothing fundamental will change.

The players will still play. The fans will still sing. The trophy will still be lifted.

It will simply take place inside somebody else’s wallet.